would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize