I think i peed on brittanys purse
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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