yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
