I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
