Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
