I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
