dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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