chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
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I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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