Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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