Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You dont lie about slip and slides
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Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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