ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
