my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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