Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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