I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
