is your mom at the bar?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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