Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
