i barfeds in our rink
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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