I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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