also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Quick, to the slutcave!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize