Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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