i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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