The maid of honor just puked.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
