And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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