So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
