I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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