I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
