I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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