Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize