the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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