So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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