margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
