i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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