ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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