I got chris browned last night
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
