fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
