It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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