Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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