The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
