just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
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I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful