Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
