Texts From Last Night

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  (243): View more from

  the bitch is dead man

  (1-243): View more from

  YOUR DOG DIED?

  (243): View more from

  no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.

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  (243): the bitch is dead man (1-243): YOUR DOG DIED? (243): no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon. http://tfl.nu/0e8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1525) Bad night (719)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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  (217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again. http://tfl.nu/eq2e
  Replies (26) Good night (7999) Bad night (1100)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.

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  (608): I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs. http://tfl.nu/xx6g
  Replies (39) Good night (5404) Bad night (1412)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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  (203): I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole. http://tfl.nu/9iug
  Replies (17) Good night (1456) Bad night (3362)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.

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  (+44): Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here. http://tfl.nu/0a2t
  Replies (7) Good night (2507) Bad night (1003)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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  (+44): I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this. http://tfl.nu/p3jk
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (2444)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.

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  (770): All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard. http://tfl.nu/f3jg
  Replies (3) Good night (2836) Bad night (867)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.

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  (614): There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out. http://tfl.nu/1cqt
  Replies (6) Good night (2482) Bad night (1679)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.

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  (708): We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever. http://tfl.nu/e0m4
  Replies (16) Good night (4683) Bad night (980)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".

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  (617): my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl". http://tfl.nu/voy6
  Replies (12) Good night (5735) Bad night (1198)
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  (925): View more from California

  Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

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  (925): Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/2caa
  Replies (14) Good night (4081) Bad night (1023)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

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  (928): Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment. http://tfl.nu/kmtk
  Replies (10) Good night (780) Bad night (1293)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.

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  (484): True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/vrl4
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (380)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i think i just asked a donut if it was ok

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  (503): i think i just asked a donut if it was ok http://tfl.nu/mr7m
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (374)
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch

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  (876): Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch http://tfl.nu/u7hs
  Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (236)

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