Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!

  (630): View more from Illinois

  U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?

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  (630): Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins? (313): Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats! (630): U look good, r we getting naked in ur car? http://tfl.nu/yxpj
  Replies (16) Good night (1249) Bad night (1140)
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  (650): View more from California

  barbara walters just said penis...

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  (650): barbara walters just said penis... http://tfl.nu/ninz
  Replies (10) Good night (2814) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot

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  (904): at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot http://tfl.nu/zopv
  Replies (60) Good night (920) Bad night (3996)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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  (360): Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal. (1-360): You win. Erica always eats cat food. http://tfl.nu/lw2c
  Replies (10) Good night (3924) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?

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  (731): We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country? http://tfl.nu/p4z6
  Replies (37) Good night (4709) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job

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  (862): My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job http://tfl.nu/i0ci
  Replies (56) Good night (4965) Bad night (1489)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?

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  (949): You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5? http://tfl.nu/3tc1
  Replies (15) Good night (7616) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story

  (702): View more from Nevada

  they all just nodded

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  (702): My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story (702): they all just nodded http://tfl.nu/l03v
  Replies (6) Good night (2581) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.

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  (901): She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab. http://tfl.nu/iean
  Replies (6) Good night (2486) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.

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  (757): Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week. (1-757): It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell. http://tfl.nu/5ztt
  Replies (6) Good night (2752) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.

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  (520): I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/u2a7
  Replies (5) Good night (1569) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak

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  (479): You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid (918): I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak http://tfl.nu/f0ta
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.

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  (330): I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes. http://tfl.nu/tcgc
  Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad

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  (914): I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad http://tfl.nu/el2g
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.

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  (218): I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench. http://tfl.nu/hyfp
  Replies (5) Good night (291) Bad night (539)

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