friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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