I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
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He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.