Say something about gay babies.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.