Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i totally said that

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  (905): i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight (1-905): i totally said that http://tfl.nu/40bc
  Replies (19) Good night (4088) Bad night (588)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.

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  (443): I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/l068
  Replies (25) Good night (1570) Bad night (6832)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.

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  (248): I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her. http://tfl.nu/7nk8
  Replies (17) Good night (680) Bad night (3490)
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  (818): View more from California

  She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.

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  (818): She made Precious look like a solid 6.5. http://tfl.nu/qn24
  Replies (32) Good night (749) Bad night (5922)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  it was like fucking gandolphs beard

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  (405): it was like fucking gandolphs beard http://tfl.nu/vnqc
  Replies (30) Good night (1033) Bad night (6869)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.

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  (917): I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily. http://tfl.nu/kdcy
  Replies (35) Good night (1864) Bad night (5418)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.

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  (305): I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night. http://tfl.nu/49y3
  Replies (18) Good night (4579) Bad night (1542)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.

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  (908): I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/fc4o
  Replies (9) Good night (5338) Bad night (975)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.

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  (615): Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify. http://tfl.nu/zod7
  Replies (6) Good night (4281) Bad night (1230)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.

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  (773): If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you. http://tfl.nu/rtfn
  Replies (6) Good night (1786) Bad night (611)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.

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  (303): I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls. http://tfl.nu/h774
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (545)
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  (315): View more from New York

  how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.

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  (315): how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested. http://tfl.nu/auq3
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (915)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.

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  (352): Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans. http://tfl.nu/fhpi
  Replies (3) Good night (1469) Bad night (563)
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  (845): View more from New York

  just woke up under a car ? That's odd

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Holy fucking shit

  (845): View more from New York

  WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT

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  (845): just woke up under a car ? That's odd (603): Holy fucking shit (845): WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT http://tfl.nu/jvxr
  Replies (8) Good night (3283) Bad night (623)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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  (973): How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow... (862): This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am. http://tfl.nu/nxs7
  Replies (0) Good night (1279) Bad night (473)

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