Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hate that ur telling me this.

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  (860): remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection (781): I hate that ur telling me this. http://tfl.nu/g3sb
  Replies (19) Good night (949) Bad night (4368)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.

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  (610): I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain. http://tfl.nu/693g
  Replies (16) Good night (925) Bad night (4298)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

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  (724): after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger. http://tfl.nu/1s95
  Replies (46) Good night (1421) Bad night (15374)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.

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  (304): it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/ziqy
  Replies (31) Good night (8490) Bad night (1688)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.

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  (352): My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone. http://tfl.nu/x5d3
  Replies (12) Good night (1252) Bad night (4503)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping

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  (845): Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping http://tfl.nu/4jdo
  Replies (12) Good night (715) Bad night (2455)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.

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  (248): Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'. http://tfl.nu/4pwa
  Replies (10) Good night (5458) Bad night (770)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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  (704): I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks. http://tfl.nu/gvia
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (1320)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

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  (859): We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information. http://tfl.nu/bnu1
  Replies (1) Good night (1079) Bad night (779)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.

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  (719): Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming. http://tfl.nu/flfj
  Replies (5) Good night (1512) Bad night (431)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg

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  (519): Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg http://tfl.nu/646r
  Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (361)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Judging by this purple one they got to second base.

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  (520): They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up. (520): Judging by this purple one they got to second base. http://tfl.nu/efot
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (336)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.

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  (289): I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward. http://tfl.nu/nn3r
  Replies (4) Good night (388) Bad night (654)
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  (408): View more from California

  Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.

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  (408): Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher. http://tfl.nu/o3bs
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (369)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...

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  (716): So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans... http://tfl.nu/4fn7
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (482)

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