I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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