i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
