what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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