dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
