Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
