What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
