Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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