What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think pants incapable of making pants work
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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