I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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