Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
