I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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