I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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