oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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