the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
