How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize