If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
