If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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