Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
