You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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