I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
