you guys were way drunker than both of me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
