Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
