check it out our google latitudes are spooning
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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