you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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