I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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