i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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